Stop Theif

The existence of Dyslexia implies that misspelling such as Theif is a fact of life. Nonetheless, much humor is derived from the derision of others who are unfortunate enough to suffer from this condition. Or is it just a plausible excuse for being illiterate? And does it matter, apart from the fact that the ones who might be faking it might fake something else, like men faked for the number of years that humans have existed, minus a few decades, that they did not have color blindness?

Out of respect for people with dyslexia, we will take these topics on in reverse order. Yes, I know that does not make sense.

Plausible excuses for being illiterate

According to a (fake) study at the University of Cambridge, literates can read any length of text with only the first and last letters of the word in place, as long as all the other letters are present, no matter how jumbled up those letters are. The example used by one version of the fake was:

Arocdnicg to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Even with a passage chosen for a lot of four-letter words, which can only be solved two ways, given the fixed position of the first and last letters, the going gets a lot tougher when the wording of the sample is not modern, conversational English:

Why btrasad? wefhoere bsae? / Wehn my dsniemnois are as wlel cpmocat, / My mnid as greonuos, and my sphae as ture, / As hsneot mdaam's iusse? - King Lear, 1. 2

That 'wefhoere' was a doozy, eh? The text, whited out, below. Select it to see it in white on blue:

Why bastard? wherefore base? / When my dimensions are as well compact, / My mind as generous, and my shape as true, / As honest madam's issue? - King Lear, 1. 2

One thing this does prove, in a more extreme way than could have been seen just by looking at normal English usage, is that literates are hyperperformers when it comes to reading. The purpose of reading, to understand what another being has communicated to us, has been more than served. Now, if there were a substantial detriment to our understanding created by misspelling, then communications that are misspelled would fail this test. But they don't. In fact, the most grievous form of miscommunication possible would be that we were unable to see that a spelling error had been made. And it is rare indeed to find spelling so very bad that we cannot understand what is being written.

Laughing at other's expense

A class-based society is merely an ossification, an institutionalization of a fundamental error of the human organism: to disdain and look down upon those we perceive as inferior to us. And until the battle is over, some of us may well choose to fight the war on this front as well. But it is worth noting that in the United States, where class developed in an entirely different way than in the UK, for example, the commonly perceived 'lower' class was substantially subverted first by the left, and then by the right. And if one looks at the hatred that this class has for Hollywood, then one aspect of this becomes crystal clear: the right was given a big fat present wrapped up with a red ribbon by a Hollywood that never missed an opportunity to stick it to 'the sticks' (the country folk). Red neck sheriffs, country bumpkins, hillbillies, villains with southern accents...Some of them really were this stupid. Some of them still are. I personally have been told to get out of town by sundown by a southern sheriff, less than a hundred miles away from the big city of Houston, Texas; the South in general really is still a bigoted hole. But most have made a concerted effort to do something, anything, to separate themselves from this image, if only to shift the blame, and the easiest target for a stupid person shifting the blame is the originator of the blame. And et, voila! - the 'Liberal Hollywood'. Never mind Frank Capra, John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Cary Grant, Fred Astaire, Shirley Temple, Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gary Sinise, and many of the other 448 people in Wikipedia:Category:California Republicans; Hollywood is obviously liberal.

And now all of a sudden, now that there is money to be made doing a U-turn, Hollywood and US media in general are falling over backwards to show the other side. Billy Bob Thornton, for example, has, if not made a career out of being Southern, made damn sure his career since its start is dedicated to waving the Southern flag in his characters, choice of films, interviews, several documentaries, and everything he can get his hands on.

So if there was one little thing you could do without, that might short-circuit this cycle of disdain and backlash, the sowing of wind and reaping of the whirlwind, wouldn't you want to do it? And now there is. If looking down on spelling errors is not beneath you anyway, it might just be in your best interest to overlook them. At least in public.

That isn't to say you can't have some fun at others' expense on the sly. And put spelling and grammatical errors into a perspective that still allows them to be funny, but not so funny that you'll lose it at an inopportune moment. And if you have trouble doing either, at least save ridicule for those that deserve it most.

External Links

• Teabonics "Feedom is not Free", "Obama is the Commander in Theif", "No Amesty Amnetsy Amensty", "Respect are country-Speak English", "We're not stupid, where's the birth certifict", "Proud to be a right-wing extremest", "Just say no to big ear's and big goverment", "Sociazed Health Care..." : The original Tea Party misspelling marathon, on YouTube
• See The Callous Sophisticates Laughed at Judy's Tiny Head in Never Eat Anything Bigger than your Head by B. Kliban.