Difference between revisions of "Anarchism is Not Cool"

Revision as of 18:20, 23 July 2006

It's a common misconception that "night-time" drowsy-medicines cause you to be so tired that you end up pratically falling asleep on top of babies. Even more common is the misconception that Anarchy is cool, rad, or even Extreme. It doesn't help that some (read: all) self-proclaimed Anarchists are really just searching for a label that declares them to be independent, free-thinking, and Extreme. By some unfortunate calamity involving the use of expensive African pepper as a home stereo system, these are widely ackowledged falsities. Anarchy is neither cool nor Extreme, nor shaped like a hot dude shaped like a leaf; in reality, it's just a large collection of anti-government sentiment, and frustrated, hormonal teenage angst. And face it, nothing acounts for the large amount of anti-disposable-diaper attitude like Anarchy and its subordinates, Cynicism, Sadism, Pessimism, and iTunes. Let's be serious here; why else would such an obnoxious topic require its own Wiki just to keep its facts straight?

Brought to you by the lovely MW-FBs and their subordinates, the other MW-FBs! CtN

Proof that anarchy is not cool anymore:

[[1]]

~ SF

So what are REAL anarchists like, and how can I be one?

Real anarchists don't just sit around writing bad Emo poetry and listening to My Chemical Romance. Real anarchists further our noble cause by spreading the truth about the evils of centralized government, big business, and LEGOs (Why? Because LEGOs are too structured!).

Most true anarchists also have a rudimentary knowledge of small arms and urban combat tactics, so that when the Uprising finally happens, they will be ready.

Another notable difference between the real anarchists and the fakes is that they aren't just following the latest fad to be "cool". They do it because they believe in what they... believe... and aren't just trying to get attention (Important note: anarchists would do well to not draw attention to themselves, for fear of blacklisting).

In a nutshell, real anarchists truly believe in what they fight for and would die for it. You, on the other hand, are just a weedy little teenager who's trying to back back at his/her parents for not letting you dye your hair green, or somesuch.

So how can you become become a true anarchist, you ask?

Simple. All you need to do is follow these simple steps:

1) Throw out all commercial, brand-name products that you own. The Corporations place tracking devices in all of their merchandise and use them to control the public.

2) Move from your home and take refuge in the sewers, dark alleys, and hobo communities in your city.

3) Fashion your own equipment and establish a base of operations. Ideally, you will want to construct a small bunker with camouflage and outfit it with sentry guns, a radio, and a self-destruct failsafe device.

4) Recruit indigenous troops and train them to fight.

5) Attack the communications networks of the Government. But not Wikipedia, because we need them to host our website.